A Tale from Tech Support (from Reddit)
Scrolling through Reddit and certain sub-reddits turn up some gold. Here is one posted by /u/nabbitnabbitnabbit on Reddit.
Long time listener, first time caller. I have been in this IT Support business for about 20 years. Through this time, I've been privileged to support some very intelligent people and a gaggle of idiots. I'll tell this tale and you can decide where this user fits in. I got a broken laptop into my office, which is no new thing. It won't power on. $User: My laptop suddenly stopped working! $Me: What were you doing when the laptop died? $User: I was working on some research. $Me: Was there a power surge? Did you spill anything in your laptop? $User: No, I didn't do anything. So I got out my trusty screwdriver set and opened this bad boy. Coffee poured out. $Me: Uh, you said you didn't spill anything on your laptop. $User: indignantly Well, I didn't spill anything! $Me: ...but there is coffee pouring out of this laptop. $User: Oh, my wife spilled that. Does it make any difference? I didn't spill the coffee, so the laptop should still work. $Me: Yes. Anything spilled in your laptop can make it stop working, no matter who did it. $User: Oh. Even if I didn't spill it? $Me: Uhhhhhhh. Still, I recovered his data and sent his laptop to the big IEEE electronics recycler in the sky.
Use yer brain ffs!